"The brightness of the sunsets will always remain in my memories, see how the rays of the sun at 5:30 in the afternoon, through the window of your room"
Deep sigh and here begins "S" to tell his beautiful love story with "C"
S's story is not exactly with a Sugar Daddy, but rather a story of love and disappointment; behind a SB there is a woman of flesh and blood, a woman who has feelings like anybody. The SBs have a life apart from the secret with their respective SDs, below an example of so many:
It was in the spring of 2014, it was almost the month of April, I knew him many years ago, because it is a family friendship, by the way, he did not like me before, I had always seemed a very pretentious man , since he is very handsome, I got the impression that his attitude was like the typical "Don Juan" and I came to criticize him in silence thinking that he was uneducated, that if it were not for his physical beauty he would simply not fit anywhere, that I was lucky to live in a materialistic and superficial age where physical beauty opens doors before intelligence; He was 29 years old and I was 22 when he started.
You see, one day I went to his house, not by invitation of him, we were only acquaintances but not friends, just and we crossed word once in the previous years, I suppose, it turns out that I am very close to his nephew, who lived with him at that time and it was at the invitation of his nephew that I went to his house; her nephew is a great friend of mine since elementary school, that is many years of friendship and there is immense confidence, I tell you this because that day my friend and I had sex, but it was like those times that sex does not go, because we are so friends that was even weird, was how to do it with your cousin or your brother, did you explain? In fact, we had no more than 15 minutes of action when he suddenly arrived, (C), and almost opened the door and sees us, only that my friend quickly told him that he was not alone, that he had company, and it was funny because He told her that he was fine, that he only wanted to take his pipe from the bureau, and my friend gave it to him. We laughed a lot for having been caught, but it was also funnier, the relief we feel from having been interrupted, was something like: I know you know, and you know that I know.
When I arrived at my house, I swear I was bombarded by the idea of making a trio at the time that C. came and I told my friend, later he told his uncle and ... yes I know, you can think that I am very liberal and a "crazy" girl, and yes, a few years ago I did not have much self control and I believed that life was just crazy fun.
The next day my friend told me that he had already told his uncle, so I decided to send him a message telling him about the idea of the trio, it was very funny now that I remember, because he only answered me with a blue "like" hand. I felt like a fool and I thought he had ignored me. Two days passed when my message suddenly came to me, saying "Hi, how are you? What do you think if we go to the movies on Thursday? is my day to relax. I felt hallucinated and excited, I did not realize at what time, but I fell madly in love with him from the first moment we met that Thursday. I said: you know very well that we will not go to the movies, and I do not want detours either, we go straight to the action.
We stayed to see each other in the corner of my house, and from there we went together to a motel. And it was fantastic, I got arrows from him, I loved this man, his way of treating me, nobody had ever been so authentic and real, I did not feel at any time hypocrisy or pretensions, I thought that all time had been wrong about him, It had nothing to do with the person I thought he was. In fact, he was the most charming man he had ever met. The second time I saw him I told him about the trio and he said "I still want to enjoy you more, alone", I realized something, I did not want to share! And I did not touch the subject again. I always loved his subtle way of telling me that he liked me and that he enjoyed being with me. And even though I had a reputation as a womanizer, I never hinted at other women, always made me feel unique and special. I appreciated that, since no man had made me feel unique. And I had a long way despite my age, I could make comparison with many more and above all, men much more mature, 40s and even fifty and fifty years pass.
We repeat these meetings again and again. And it was always at 5 o'clock in the afternoon at a mall, he would pass by me. Even on the day his son was born, he did not want to cancel our scheduled meeting. The point that we saw almost daily came. At the start in motels. But after a few months we started going to his house, while his wife was not, yes, a detail that I had spent telling them, he is married.
The meetings at home are the ones I remember the most. The brightness of the sunsets will always remain in my memories, see how the rays of the sun at 5:30 in the afternoon, through the window of your room.
I do not know how to explain his way of being, he was always so chivalrous and ordinary at the same time, a strange mixture, his personality adored her, he loved how he tried to impress me and how he did not hide his admiration towards me, he loved the concept in which he He had me, he made me feel special and elevated, I had no regret in saying "I do not know", his simplicity captivated me. I always found it adorable when you wanted to make the interesting and indifferent pretending that you had forgotten our last talk, for example, and entangled in the current talk I was bringing up a detail of the previous talk, I never wanted to show it, but secretly I liked to see how he pretended that he did not remember things when it was obvious that he did, betrayed himself alone almost always. So tender he.
Always the meetings were so passionate, I have very marked moments at his side, there are no words that can express everything that makes me feel, I still think about him, I close my eyes and relive a specific day. I love the streets that we walked together, I love the places where I was with him, I love everything, absolutely everything that has to do with him, I love listening to the songs that we put when we made love, I love his existence.
The longest time we spent without seeing each other and communicating was one or two months. We gave ourselves time, we were not on the phone every minute, with him I experienced what it is to love someone without losing myself. The point came when I fully trusted him, he had the complete certainty that he would always be there and that ours would never end. We were free and there was something between us, everything was demonstrated with facts. All this complicity with him I loved, I felt entirely powerful, indestructible, complete. I flourished a lot by his side. It was my most beautiful secret, no one knew about us, I treasured it so much that I kept it a secret forever.
I am a restless spirit, I want to be an inhabitant of the world, I do not want anything to stop me ever, and I had a time already wanting to leave my city, until I did one day, I took my bags and went to a border city of my beautiful Mexico. Despite loving C, I left, so much was my trust in him that I knew that this could not be done remotely. And indeed, I think that our own was strengthened, or so I thought. Here comes the ugly and sad part of my story with him, we had two years of "relationship" when I left my city, we kept in touch, when we talked on the phone we did it for hours. We had a lot to share and I love him so much, (because in spite of everything I still love him), that he had the entire confidence of telling us about our sexual adventures and new conquests and I never felt jealous, we were always open and it was great. His calls made me smile for days!
I have been out of my city for almost three years and have returned to my homeland at least 5 times, and for one reason or another we could not see each other. I understood it. I never imagined the worst. I lowered my guard completely
Now that I went, I talk about three months ago, we stayed to see each other, I'm a mom now, (basically single, I live with my daughter's father, who is my ex SD, we share paternity but we're not a couple anymore, but that's another story), my baby was 3 months old when I went. I did not get fat or change, on the contrary, my breasts and hips grew, fortunately (Haha); he and I very often made video calls and exchanged photos and I was always flattered, there was still passion and desire between the two. So for this reason I was not afraid to see him again with my current life.
The day came to see us, the day after my arrival we were to meet at 8pm. I felt a little nervous and excited. I had a slight feeling that we should not see each other and I even thought about canceling, but I let things flow, when I saw him I did not know whether to hug him or kiss him or act indifferent, well, I felt cold sweat! We did not talk for a long time, and he left. There was a bit of sensual romp, a few kisses and that was it, it was all very strange, I was incredibly nervous, and I felt completely disconnected. But I did not want to believe it. The next day I invited him to a family meeting but at the last minute he said he could not. And so, two days, three days, a week, two weeks and more days passed until I understood that my nightmare had become my worst reality.
I felt my heart shattered. I could miss anything, but not him. To love him in secret and to have it secret, have no idea what is important, or more than important that was my presence in my life, I just do not know how to express it with earthly words. It broke my heart enormously. I do not know what happened. I sent him a WhatsApp saying what he felt, that I did not deserve this break, at least not so, after these years "together", I deserved a better break, I told him that he knew perfectly that I would have understood if he wanted to finish , it just made me feel used that day and belittled. He did not even see me naked, we did not make love or anything, I did not understand anything about his silence. Did you meet someone? What happened? And he told me "I did not understand the message". Is seriously? I was very clear, and after how he behaved, his cruel and painful silence, offended my intelligence with his response, becoming the "fool". I did not answer. There I left it. And a few days later his older brother added me to FB and he started talking to me. Which was too strange, because his brother started flirting with me. And I decided to send C captures and tell him that if he had told his brother about us or what happened he suddenly looked for me like that, and he said "I do not understand your message", is that serious? He did it again?. Anyway. I blocked it from my cell phone. I did not want to know about him. I felt terrible. And he sent me a message repeating the stupid text: I did not understand your message. He has no idea but he broke my heart into a thousand pieces. To this day I do not know about him and despite loving him madly I have dignity, I will not look for him again. He's a person I do not know already, and I'm not interested in the jerk he became that day. I am left with the most beautiful memories at his side. It is my great love. Everything was perfect with him. We always saw ourselves alone, hidden from all our acquaintances since our families know each other. I love him and very possibly I will love him always, it is my great love.
I have been SB of more than one man, I know how is this medium, even being with C I was SB of two men, and being in the new city I was of three men. And as I was saying, I had a baby from my last SD. But while I was doing this, I secretly loved my great love C. And I was expecting her calls as a high school girl, super excited. Anyway. That ended. Very abruptly. I would never have wanted that end with him.
I want to share my story with you because I am born, because surely you also have your love story, and we are in the same line. Because I also wanted to share that I learned that life goes on with that love or without it. That although sometimes it hurts to breathe after him, it is temporary, obviously at some point I will feel whole again. And it is not that I have stopped my life, no, not at all, only that I secretly loved him and it is strange to live this duel as well, in secret. I even thought I was karma, for having been with a married man for so long, and he has not been the only married man I relate to, but he is the only one I have ever loved.
Love is subjective, each person loves in their own way. And each of us has our love story. And at the same time we are SBs. And both can cope. In my case C was not my SD, it was simply my secret love. My SDs vanished like dust, they were, and it was nice that I still had my love there, for me. But today no longer. And I'm open to meet another SD, after the storm, especially now more than ever because I already have a baby to see, and I'm not alone anymore. And to some extent, my baby gives me strength and I love it. But being a mom does not mean for me to stop being a woman. A woman needs to be loved by a man too, and if not to be loved, at least to feel wanted and spoiled. Unless I love that. I am close to turning 27 years old and I do not want to close to the opportunity to meet someone who gives me good moments, throughout my experience in this area I learned to enjoy those moments, to live that present, to take profit and not fall in love, to love, yes, because I'm not iron, of course I have feelings !.
Regardless of whether or not you have the name of some guy tattooed in your heart, that does not mean you can not give yourself the opportunity to let yourself be pampered by another man, I know that you may still have deep social stereotypes between the good, the bad , the right thing, the wrong thing, and so many more. I do not know about being hypocritical. Remember that this has nothing to do with your value as a person or as a woman. But analyze that you can get a benefit at least, or rather, many benefits.
I give you my example, I lived an immense love and believe me, it's something that I enjoyed a lot, very much! But now that I can visualize my situation outside of it, from a new perspective, I realize that I only had memories, and beautiful memories, but finally only that, as I was saying, I have been SB before, even being in love with C , but possibly I limited myself a bit by "love", or by having some regard for him. However, what did it cost me ?. Maybe I could have enjoyed my other experiences more, without limiting myself just like I did.
I do not mean that you give up having your personal life or to stop feeling something for someone special for you. It is about being just a bit more clever and intelligent, especially emotional intelligence, that everything is temporary and although it is a common phrase, there is a lot of reason in it. I thought that my "great love" was indestructible, and I feel a little silly about it, because I have even laughed at the girls who express themselves like that, but I am in that situation now and I understand it perfectly. I'm recovering, and honestly, I feel a little excited for what's coming. Well they say that when one door is closed another one opens. Will be?. I do not know what genius came up with this issue of the SDs but it was hit right on target. Because there are many women who for different reasons want to experience all this. Sometimes I have asked myself if this is necessary, to get help from a man in exchange for giving him my company and I always ended up saying to myself, it is not a matter of meditating and spending the eternal hours analyzing whether it is good or bad. It's about living it, I never tire of saying again and again: enjoy the moment!
Now that I am completely free of my emotions, yes, I am excited about what is to come. I do not know when, or where, or how, or why, but wherever you are, you are a wonderful man, a giver of good times and new learning, and I am ready for you. And a little more I knew that before, I learned to be a good SB and I love it ...
And you beautiful girl that you read to me, I hope that my love story and lack of love will serve you. I'd love to hear yours too. There is no doubt that behind each SB there is a heart beating and each one knows by whom it beats like that.
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