By: Sandra April 8, 2020
Can There Be Seriousness In Sugar Dating?
Gabriel and Laura
Two years ago, the following story would be impossible for anyone who knows me to believe. I used to be the typical self-sacrificing housewife, to a certain point a bit boring, with my days destined for monotony, there was no news, and frankly, I was happy like that, I didn't need more than that, I felt good about who I was. Until...
On one occasion, my husband, yes, my beloved husband, began to change his attitude; He began to take more care of his image, he tried to look more attractive, and at first, I did not recognize the signs of infidelity, but when I went to visit him at his job, one of those days in which I dared to break the routine, I realized the damn reality. And it was at that moment that everything began to change within me, as great as my love for him was, the disappointment was even stronger. I guess that's what happens when we idealize someone, we put a person on a pedestal and when the hit of reality comes, it's tremendous. So, it happened to me with my "beloved husband."
I didn’t say anything, actually, I never made a scene of jealousy, nor did I claim. I didn’t know what to do. I kept it to myself. He never failed me in anything, he has always given me everything and more. He has been a wonderful husband and father; I don't want to lose him. With him I have lived the best years of my life, and it’s been so many years together that I decided to quietly overcome my disappointment. What happened next, I never planned, it just happened.
I started to do new things, to take more care of myself; I started studying Gastronomy, I started going out with my friends every weekend, meeting people, I just started living my life, and I started to like it a lot. For several years I continued to "respect" my husband, but suddenly, in one of my group activities, I met Gabriel.
I was part of an environmental awareness association, I joined through an invitation from my friend, and we met every Friday afternoon. It was fun. But it was even more so with the presence of Gabriel. At first, he was the opposite of the type of man that attracts me. He was indifferent to me, I only liked him as a friend. But one day, leaving the meeting, we all went to a bar, it ended in a party, ironically.
Between party drinks, music, and laughter, we all connected happily, it was 3 am and almost everyone had left, it was only Gabriel, my friend and me. After a while, my friend left, and I decided to go too. But my truck made a bad move on me, it didn't start, and Gabriel offered to drive me home. You know how these things are, as they commonly say: when you’re up, you’re up and so it was. When we got to my house, before saying goodbye, he told me that it would be good to repeat an outing like that, that he had a great time, I said yes, that we should meet the rest of the group, but he was referring to the two of us, when he asked I was a little perplexed, I told him that it would look a bit bad, to go out just him and I, in fact I felt a bit uncomfortable and even annoyed, I did not like his insinuation. And I kindly said goodbye. I think he felt terrible, but it was too late to remedy it.
Upon entering the house, I found my husband packing his bags, his family had called him in emergency, his mother was ill in the hospital and he had to travel there soon, his flight left at 6 am, his time was tight. I wished him luck and a good trip, I needed to get in bed and lose myself in a rich dream, I couldn't stand my feet from so much dancing.
Once I saw myself alone in the darkness of the early morning of that Saturday, the idea of accepting Gabriel's invitation invaded me, it was like a spell that took over my mind and my craving for mischief. Despite what had happened with my husband about that infidelity and betrayal that I had swallowed a while back, I think in a "half innocent" attempt to convince myself that this new idea in my mind about Gabriel, wasn’t so bad after all; a flirtatious smile was drawn on my face, and so, like a girl who has just done a mischief, I smiled at myself and let myself be subdued by the adrenaline and the emotion of indulging in an adventure with a new man, without anyone knowing about it, much less my husband.
In the morning, I sent a message to Gabriel, I told him that I was possibly a bit rude, I thanked him for the gesture of the invitation, and I told him that I agreed to go out any day. A few minutes later, I got his message back: Today would be perfect, it's Saturday, the night is always young on the weekend! So we agreed to meet that night, he stopped by to pick me up and, ready. We went to dinner at a nice place where the wines and cheeses were wonderful. After a pleasant moment, and a very pleasant chat, I did not know what else should happen, it had been so many years since I shared a moment like that with someone other than my husband, I had forgotten almost all the protocol for a first date.
He was quite a gentleman, obviously he paid for dinner. I was quite flattered; it was like getting back in the game. I felt young again and it was nice to feel that a man noticed me. Feeling pretty and taken into account. I felt like a woman again. It was not necessary to go to bed that same night, although because of the romantic atmosphere I was not lacking the desire to do so. Thus, began this beautiful story.
We began to see each other very often, my husband has his own company, and he travels a lot or is hardly ever at home, at that moment he was still at his mother's house due to her critical health, and he stayed there for about a month, maybe more. Gabriel and I saw each other every day during that time. Without realizing that I became his SB. He took me to beautiful places, we made short trips to nearby cities, he bought me clothes, he even started paying for household services, it's something that of course I don't need, but he wanted to do it, and well, they say, “who looks a gift horse in the mouth”, (laugh). Something that captivated me about Gabriel is that he is a typical gentleman stereotype. He is very attentive to me and my confidence in myself has returned. I feel important by his side.
Without anyone knowing, we see each other secretly from the group's companions whenever there is a chance, he is also married. I don’t know his reasons for doing this nor do I care. I know mine, and although I don’t justify this situation at all, I feel that I am living the best adventure of my life, I am an adult woman, I raised my children, I already corresponded to my husband the best I could, he also has his adventures. I am having mine. By the way, I'm 45 years old, Gabriel is 50.
Everything happened very quickly, I don't know if because of my state of mind at the time it started, but since I am with him, secretly, I stopped feeling resentment towards my husband. We are careful in every encounter, neither he nor I want to cause problems to our families. We are aware that this is not frowned upon, perhaps even incorrect, but it makes us happy and that’s what matters. The new things I’ve experienced with him are to tell and shout out to the world. However, I don't. Just now, I dare to tell someone, and how bizarre, I only dare to tell strange people.
Every week with the excuse of the environmental group meetings, Fridays, are the days most awaited days by me, they are the days that we escape together, after leaving the meeting we go elsewhere, we have even encouraged colleagues to take group trips, in such a way that we have achieved it, to be able to justify trips of more than one day, and it has been, WOW, quite fun, nobody knows about us, that is possibly what makes all this something exciting.
On group trips, we sneak out alone, when the improper things can be done, and we're first on the list. We try to go out to nearby cities often and we are not very frequent in our city since we do not want to be discovered by someone we know. There are also times when we travel alone, he makes up business trips and I take advantage of it when my husband is away, we usually go on weekends.
We travel often to , he has an apartment there where we have spent beautiful moments. We are decorating that apartment together. There are no concrete plans. Honestly, I don't think that he or I will be able to leave our current lives to make this a formal relationship, we just want to enjoy this moment together. That is a good thing about relationships that occur between adults, we are clear about our reality, we do not beat around the bush, we are not naive children, we already know what we want.
On every trip he likes us to go buy me clothes, he likes me to model my new clothes for him, he tells me that I'm his little doll, and any woman likes that. It had been so long since I felt this way, and I am grateful to experience these feelings again. We like to attend cultural events together, we almost have the same likings, so we can spend hours talking and laughing at our anecdotes. When you find a person with whom you feel yourself and you feel good, you cannot afford to reject him.
Two years have passed since this, the advantage of this type of relationship is that the meetings are only about laughter, good times, good emotions, there is no time to get angry, or argue, because precisely, you find an oasis far apart from your reality, of the life that you lead in the eyes of others. This is almost something sacred.
You seek to escape your everyday lives, and you become an accomplice of this lover of yours. Secret lover. I don't know how this is going to end, what I know is that I have been incredibly happy since it started. That it pleases me that a man treats me like his princess. That, despite not having the financial need, he provides me with the basics, if I want something, he buys it for me, whatever I want, he does what is necessary to satisfy my cravings. There are no rules for being an SB, apparently. Nor age, since I am not a young girl. I know.
I wanted to share my experience with you, because I think it is valid that despite the circumstances one finds happiness. There is possibly more than one woman in my situation, who likely feels bad or believes that it is not right to be "unfaithful". But everyone has their reasons. Nothing justifies it. But different circumstances sometimes lead to being different, daring to be able to do it.
I do not regret anything, I think I am recovering my vitality, that experiencing new things with Gabriel has returned the sincere smile on this face that seemed resigned to the daily routine of the boring days of the typical housewife. Who has made the rules of society, what should / should not be done, Boring! If something is always clear, it is that life, there is only one; and with the passage of the years, it is increasingly clear to understand it. Long ago I completely decided to live mine. Now!